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Red Dot Foundation proudly hosted "Homecoming - Pride in Love," an open dialogue on inclusion within families, at Dosti House, U.S. Consulate. The session commenced with introductory remarks from Supreet K Singh, Co-founder & CEO of RDF, and Harish Iyer, Head of DE&I at Axis Bank, who moderated the session.

They highlighted the significance of holding the event on July 2nd, a historic day marking the 15th anniversary of the Delhi High Court verdict decriminalising homosexuality and provided an overview of the event. It would consist of sharing experiences, personal stories, discussing concerns, and addressing questions. There is no singular, universal issue when it comes to LGBTQIA+ inclusion, as everyone faces different challenges and is on their own unique journey. Thus, these dialogues are vital for mutual learning and understanding.

Following their remarks, U.S. Consulate General Rob Anderson expressed his gratitude to the attendees and acknowledged the virtual presence of the U.S. Consulates from Nepal and Chennai via Zoom. He emphasised the personal and courageous nature of coming out, and highlighted the importance of having such conversations.

Several stories were shared during the event, illustrating diverse experiences within the LGBTQIA+ community. The following are stories from a member of the community, a parent, and an ally.

Transwoman

India's first trans photojournalist shared her remarkable journey, highlighting both her struggles and triumphs. She described the difficulty of entering the trans community and the long path to acceptance from her mother. A pivotal moment came when she began introducing her as her daughter. This simple act marked a significant turning point in their relationship. However, her journey was not without its challenges. She recalled a time when she was collecting alms on trains, and her brother-in-law spotted her. This led to a painful confrontation with her sister, who accused her of tarnishing the family's reputation. Despite these harsh experiences, she persevered and pursued her passion for photojournalism which eventually earned her recognition and respect. She reflected on how this success not only empowered her but also felt like she elevated her family's name.

Parent

An 80-year-old woman shared her heartfelt journey. In October 1998, her son came out to her at the age of 24. He didn't tell her directly; instead, she sensed something was amiss and feared he might be involved with drugs. Concerned, she reached out to a female friend of his, who confirmed that he was gay. Shocked by the revelation, she struggled with the news, especially given the different societal attitudes and lack of support available at the time. Initially, she believed her son could change and took him to a psychiatrist in hopes of a "cure." Together, they attended sessions, and her son continued with therapy. The psychiatrist prescribed medication for his mood swings and advised her to accept his sexual orientation. This marked the beginning of her journey towards understanding and acceptance. She began attending meetings organised by Gay Bombay and Humsafar Trust, seeking support and education about the LGBTQIA+ community.

Ally

An ally, who is the twin sister of a transman, shared her touching and supportive journey. She recounted how she was always close to her sibling and sensed there was something different about him. Their parents often joked about her sibling's boyish nature, and when he began opening up to her, she offered him unwavering support and love. She spoke about allies having their own coming-out journey, particularly siblings and parents. When her brother expressed concern about what the people in their housing society might say, she reassured him not to worry and even suggested that they could move elsewhere if needed. Throughout his transition, she has consistently provided him with all the support he needed, believing that this is the most crucial role a family member can play as an ally.

Following the sharing of stories, both parents and youth participants noted down their concerns and potential solutions on post-it notes. These insights were then discussed by Harish Iyer, facilitating a constructive dialogue aimed at addressing the challenges faced by LGBTQIA+ individuals within families and communities and how we can overcome them.

Youth Concerns

a) Family Rejection
LGBTQIA+ youth often face rejection and disownment from their own families upon coming out due to societal and cultural norms. Despite extensive counselling, medication and education, many parents remain unsupportive of their child's sexuality and pressure them to conform to heteronormative standards of relationships and marriage.

b) Mental Health and Social Isolation
It is fairly common for LGBTQIA+ youth to struggle with mental health issues like body dysmorphia and impatience, which are further exacerbated by negative comments from neighbours and extended family. Many children feel scared and isolated due to a lack of inclusive space at home where the use of hurtful language is commonly disguised as humour. This leads to many queer individuals living in fear and living alone in societies that do not accept them.

c) Lack of communication
There is a lack of effective communication between parents and children, and teachers and children. Though initiating such conversations can be challenging, it is highly needed for the youth to gain support from adults in their lives. There is also a need for awareness about molestation, sexuality, and safe spaces for self-expression.

Youth Solutions
a) Advocacy for safe spaces
Advocacy for gender neutral washrooms in public spaces through local authorities, as well as establishing safe spaces for the community can create a more comfortable environment for LGBTQIA+ youth in public settings. The creation of more support groups for parents of queer children and sensitising teachers in schools, colleges, and universities can foster a more inclusive atmosphere both inside and outside of the home. Local government and legal authorities must
also be sensitised to the challenges faced by the LGBTQIA+ community, especially the youth.

b) Representation in the media
Increasing positive portrayals of the queer community in films and television, especially in regional languages, can increase general awareness and disseminate education to a larger audience. Creating educational videos for school children and college students through NGOs can also help spread knowledge and awareness.

c) Counselling and Mental Wellbeing
Focusing on the mental health of the youth by providing counselling services is crucial. The best support system one can ultimately have is family and friends, helping youth to come out and share their experiences, open conversations being the solution to many issues. Parents should also accept their children unconditionally, supporting their growth and happiness.

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